What if we’ve been looking at anxiety all wrong?
What if anxiety was your inner self sending you messages?
Messages about how to control your ego and your life.
Everyone has an ego. Ego is the voice that says –
- Why is this happening to me?
- I knew you couldn’t do it.
- Why did you ever try?
- This isn’t your problem.
- It’s too difficult.
- This isn’t fair.
Ego gets louder and louder each time you ignore what’s really going on.
Ego is the need to be right, loves to inflate your feeling of self importance and righteousness in moments.
Ego has many disguises and is both sneaky and clever.
For any challenge, ego is your enemy. Ego often causes the problem then blocks the solution. Ego is greedy and loves to feed the more, more, more lifestyle, rejecting responsibility and defending the victim within, at every turn. “It’s not my fault” you hear her say, often.
But what has ego to do with anxiety?
Anxiety tries to communicate, she wants to be heard. Ego won’t allow it. Ego’s job is to protect from all harm and especially emotional pain. Ego will do everything possible to defend the self from any kind of hurt.
Ego is delusional, cannot tell real from illusion and so battles on regardless and usually causing more mental and emotional harm.
Anxiety tries again to be heard. Ego does not and will not hear her pleas, determined to protect against all odds. Round and round and round the cycle goes, often until death.
So what is the answer?
The answer is found in awareness and the middle ground.
First you need to become aware of your ego, observing and noting her scheming.
Secondly seek out the middle ground, a secret path between ego and anxiety. A secret path to a truly successful, healthy and happy life.
“Courage, for instance, lies between cowardice on one end and recklessness on the other” (Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy, Portfolio, 2016).
This secret path is not an easy straight forward one to navigate. There are many twists, turns and rivers to cross. But it is one that is hugely worth the persistence to reach the destination of inner peace.
It’s our own individual responsibility to find our own secret path to a happy medium that works for both ego and anxiety. Somewhere between too easy and too difficult.
The only way to find the path, that is a unique journey for each individual, is by trial and error, through courage, compassion and guidance.
Have you got the courage to call your ego out? To haul it into line and pin it down?
Ego loves to be right, it knows best, feasting on self importance one minute then filling you with fear and beating you to a pulp the next.
Ego loves to play games and seeks out short cuts. Ego will trap you, convincing you it’s the correct move, especially if it’s to make money.
Ego is addicted to drama. Are you strong enough to deny ego her fix of drama?
Ego is expensive, it will cost you, often friendships, businesses, love, money, property and more.
How do you find your secret path and happy medium?
- Be brave.
- Connect to the bigger world.
- Say goodbye to separation.
- Acknowledge that people lie and let you down.
- Stay humble.
- Ditch the gossip.
- Say “No” to drama.
- Learn to use the super power of compassion.
Prepare yourself for these facts of life. Embrace resilience as your best friend against failure, adversity and life’s difficulties.
Don’t allow your ego to hide yourself away licking its wounds in a cave forever.
Learn to acknowledge what’s happened, send compassion, pick yourself up, take responsibility and get back on the horse that we call life!
*Please note that this blog post is my theory on the subject of anxiety, based on my professional work with clients in my practice. If you would like my help on this subject or other midlife issues, please do not hesitate to contact me at – Belinda@TheMidlifeMentor.co.uk
Much love and light,